Shrinking & Zebras

Today I completed the final dosage of the AC chemo!!  The hardest part of this mountain is almost behind us!!  I also had a Drs. appointment where they did the first ultra-sound since beginning chemo.  The breast mass has shrunk 1/3. The lymph node cancer is 1/2 the size it was.  We are thrilled that chemo is serving its intended purpose.  In 3 weeks I'll start Taxol, once a week for 12 weeks.  Then we'll take a month off and then do surgery.  We're now researching our options regarding surgery.  I'm about to take the anti-nausea meds that knock me out, so I can sleep through the rest of today and Tuesday when the yuckiness is so extreme.

Our Youth Leaders, Stake Leaders, & Priesthood leaders

This is probably the only bald picture that will ever be posted.  My hat came off on this zipline. :)

Girls Camp was amazing.  I was so thankful to be there the entire week.  I had to rest more often than during youth conference, but had a rustic, cozy cabin with 3 awesome women to rest in as needed, WITH air conditioning!  I had easy-off shoes for killing a 3 inch spider and a few other crawling creatures, and thankfully saw no rodents (in our cozy cabin).  I'll post more about camp when I come out of hibernation, including some photos, but was blessed again with the enabling power of the atonement, giving me extra energy to serve and interact with the 125 young women at camp, and the wonderful adult leaders too.  I was careful to wash hands a lot, and used disinfecting wipes and sprays.  We ate like queens, with lots of healthy foods, thanks to our amazing cooks that made the kitchen a fun place to hang out in or drop by for a visit.

Camp included a little camping--hikes, tents for Courtney's group, campfire cooking, first aid.  Roasting marshmallow Peeps is a new favorite!  Even if you don't like Peeps, when they are roasted, they take on a creme brulee taste with the caramelized sugar taste.  The added bonus--they were 70% off after Easter, so a special treat at camp and a rare find until next Easter!  Be very careful when removing them--finger tips can be burned very easily--we used an empty Peeps box to catch the cooked Peep for cooling a bit before consuming.  

I introduced the girls to a cheer from Texas high schools in 1980, where I was NOT a cheerleader, but they enjoyed watching and joining in with "How funky is your chicken? How loose is your goose?  Come on all you girls camp fans, and shake your caboose."  They rolled with laughter.  I skipped sharing another, "Chew tuh back uh, chew tuh back uh, spit on the ball, aint no body gonna beat (stomp) Rockwall."  That was written phonetically for effect, with a Texas drawl.  A few of the girls were able to witness the famous, at girls' camp only "fish face," this year with a rare bald fish look.  This also resulted in roars of laughter. 

On a more serious note, camp was filled with numerous devotionals and firesides that were uplifting and spirit filled.  We all left camp on a spiritual high.  Our youth leaders planned a wonderful camp and served the younger girls with their full hearts.  It was fun witnessing their service, seeing their countenances glow with the light our theme taught us about: "The Circle of Light....He lives in You."  It was a take off of the Lion King.  Christ is the light.  As we draw closer to Him by reading scriptures, serving others, and keeping our covenants to always remember Him, take His name upon us, and keep His commandments, we qualify to have His spirit with us, resulting in glowing countenances.  "We love him, because he first loved us."  1 John 4:19  It was wonderful seeing the youth leaders love their younger girls and serve them, resulting in a mutual, two-way love.  It was a camp full of love, with lots of hugs, "I love you" in sign language, and verbal "I love you" shout outs.

I gave a fireside talk Thursday night on zebras, zebra stripes, hearts, and shineys.  During the week, the girls received a trading pin made of zebra stripes, each with a heart, and a shiny jewel.  The "shineys" were referencing a talk by Elaine Dalton, Now is the Time to Arise and Shine!  We talked about how each zebra has unique stripes.  They live in close families that watch out for each other.  They are then within herds, but even within the herd, they are still close to their families.  When they are grouped together, it is hard for their predators to distinguish an individual zebra to attack.  When they are isolated, they are vulnerable.  When a zebra is injured, its family surrounds it, to protect it from predators.  (I can relate to this, I know that I'm surrounded and supported by my family, extended family, church family, and friends.)
We then talked about when you keep your baptismal covenants, things become very black and white, distinct, with gray areas disappearing.  We clearly see what we WILL always do, and what we will NEVER do, as we try to follow Christ.  The  For the Strength of Youth guidelines help in drawing these distinct lines.  As we follow Christ's example, we are blessed with His spirit to guide us, resulting in the "shiney," an inner glow.  We ended with Isaiah 53:5 "But he was wounded for our  transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his  stripes we are  healed.  I know that His stripes were terrible cuts and gouges on His back, but this verse along with the zebra stripes lesson makes me look at zebra prints in a whole new light.  I am so thankful for my Savior.  He is there for each of us.  He knows us individually.  I have had numerous experiences throughout my life, but most recently, during this cancer journey, time and again I see His hand working little miracles in my behalf, giving me the tender mercies I need to accomplish the things that are important.  I know He lives.  He loves us.  He wants us to seek after Him by reading His words, serving others, and doing our best to keep his commandments, so we can have his spirit with us, having our "shiney" on.

Joy

This week has been great!  I love the predictability of my chemo cycle.  I now know what to expect and how to plan ahead for it.  For me, after the first 3 days, the following week is the best as far as energy goes.  I’ve been able to run my regular route most days, which really helps with fatigue.  It's been especially nice having Bush running partners in town for the month!  It's been nice getting on top of household tasks as well.  I also know that this coming weekend is when I’m the most fatigued, so can plan to take it easy through the weekend.  I’m thrilled to be almost ¾ finished with the toughest portion of this mountain climb! 

In the hair department, I’ve learned that if I haven’t lost it by now, I’m not going to lose it!  So, I’m thankful to report that I still have eye lashes, eye brows, and actually still have some stubbly hair on my head.  I could have had a comb over!!!     

Next week is our stake girls’ camp.  I’m so thankful that I’ll be able to attend!  I love spending time with these amazing young women who teach me so much by their examples.  

Last night, we had the McCarlies family over for Family Night.  It was such a treat enjoying their girls, ages 2 and 3.  Our lesson was a re-play of one of our family favorites from when our kids were young—the story of Jesus calming the storm.  I should have made a video or taken a photo, because the visual of their faces in my mind is priceless.  We used laundry baskets side by side as boats, navy blue tablecloths and napkins underneath to make the water, waves, and water splashes, and paper plates to make wind.  The kids sat in the baskets as the story was told, with everyone else holding corners of the tablecloths and/or plates to make an ocean that gradually goes from calm to turbulent to calm.  The girls faces were glowing with joy throughout the entire storm.

This is one of my favorite stories in the Bible.  There’s such a lesson for all of us.  Storms are necessary and provide us with what is needed for growth.  The Savior is there to calm our storms and/or calm our hearts and protect us as storms rage on.  I think of these sweet little girls sitting in their boats with joy on their faces as they were surrounded by storms.  We can do the same in our own boats, knowing that our loving Savior is aware of us and watchful over us.  I enjoyed this talk that discusses this idea further:  Faith Through Tribulation Brings Peace and Joy  by Robert D Hales, a modern day apostle.        

Charity

I’d planned to update yesterday on Chemo Monday, Round 3, but Chemo Mondays have unfortunately been consistent.  I thought I’d figured things out and was ready for a perfect Chemo Monday, but now hope that my final Chemo Monday of Cytoxin & Adriomyacin in three weeks will be the best yet, from the lessons I’ve learned on the previous three.  This time, my appointment was at 7:15 a.m., allowing Scott to work from the room and then return to the office afterwards.  After waiting for labs, my white blood cell count was below where it needed to be, but within range to move ahead with permission from the doctor, thankfully.  My immune system is more vulnerable, so I need to be extra careful about hand washing, sanitizing, and avoiding large crowds.  Everything at the cancer center went fine.  After arriving home around noon, I knew to take Zofran right away to avoid a nausea episode.  I did not throw up all day, but still felt wiped out and crummy.   Next time, I’m thinking an afternoon appointment gives me the morning to accomplish something, and makes the after chemo fall into the evening.  Plus, I’m thinking I’ll take the anti-nausea pills that wipe me out, that way I sleep through the yuckiness.  Hopefully it will work, and sadly it will be on my last time.  I’ll have to figure out a plan on the chemo round of Taxol that will be weekly for 12 weeks. 

I’ve had 8 horizontal days so far—chemo days, toxic Tuesdays (the day after chemo, NOT counting today, which is horizontal!!  You’re considered toxic for the first 3 days of treatment, and have to be careful that others don’t eat or drink after you), the fever day, and Saturday and Sunday, days 13 & 14 of round 2.  That’s not bad!  I’ve had to increase my resting times to twice a day for busier days, but it has been manageable.  The decreasing energy, and prioritizing what my energy is spent on is a trial of patience for me, but Sally says it’s good practice for old age! 

So, now for an update on more exciting things:  this past weekend was our stake youth conference.  (In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 8-10 congregations make up a stake, symbolic of stakes holding up a tent, with the tent being God’s kingdom.)  The theme was Charity Never Faileth.  The bible dictionary defines charity as the highest, noblest, strongest kind of love, not merely affection; the pure love of Christ.  I was so thankful to have enough energy to participate in the entire weekend (slipping off twice a day to rest in a quiet room).  We had 153 youth attend, ages 14-18.  They had workshops, a dance, outside water activities, a drive-in movie (where they made cars out of cardboard boxes and then sat in them to watch a movie in the gym), a dating panel, a service project, and a testimony meeting.  Youth stayed at host homes, where they had family scripture study, family prayer, snacks and games, morning devotionals, and then headed back to the church for the day’s activities.  

The service project was the highlight of the conference.  The youth stuffed packets and hand-delivered them to over 1200 families on the records of our stake.  The packets contained a picture of our upcoming Indianapolis Indiana Temple, a copy of The Family--a Proclamation to the World, a picture of Christ, and a letter from our stake presidency.  Many of these families had not attended church in years, resulting in varied responses, some rather hostile, while others were warm and appreciative.  With 60 volunteer transporting 2-3 youth, going all over our stake boundaries, they drove cumulatively over 1500 miles. 

This event made me more observant of this pure love of Christ.  Yesterday at the cancer center, a volunteer came by my room offering mini cupcakes.  She had a big smile on her face, was bald with a bandana covering her head, had on a tank top that showed her power port for chemo.  She and her daughter were going from room to room spreading sunshine.  The pure love of Christ is often seen in small acts.  I’m thinking—here I am feeling crummy, and she is spending part of her chemo day bringing cheer to others.  What a gift of love!  (Maybe she’s on the Taxol part???)  This was a great example of following the advice from the late Joseph B. Wirthlin, Come What May and Love it.