#TheBethEffect

On Saturday, we celebrated the life of my dear friend, Beth Mowrey.  She taught me how to live life at its fullest, especially during times of adversity.  She battled against breast cancer for 8 years.  She and her husband, Alan, were brutally honest and witty as they recorded their first round of battling cancer and then years later, shared with all of us how to face the end of life with courage, faith, humor, and most of all love.  Their blog is inspiring: The Gift

Courtney photoshopped this photo of Beth, our hero.

I became friends with Beth in Indiana.  We both lived in Manhattan Beach, California, at different times, and are good friends with the same people, so I feel like I’ve known her longer.  A little over 4 years ago, when I was diagnosed with breast cancer,  Beth was the first non-family member that I called, seeking advice about going through breast cancer.  She is the reason I kept this blog.  She said it was a great way to keep everyone informed without having to tell the same news over and over again to every person that asked.  Beth's advice on facing cancer: “It can either be one of the most wonderful experiences you’ve ever been through, growing closer as a family, with a few bumps along the way, OR it can be the most miserable experience you’ve ever been  through with a few bright spots.  It’s a choice you have to make.   We’ve chosen to make it a wonderful experience.“  That advice is definitely what the Mowrey family has lived by. 

On my first day of chemo, Beth and her sister Christi (another close friend) came to the cancer center to visit.  They brought treats and made my first chemo treatment into a party.  At the time, my husband was working out of town, commuting to Detroit after my Monday treatments, and returning to Indy on the weekends.  After Beth and Christi made my first treatment so positive and fun, he felt at peace having to leave town, knowing that I was in good hands if I needed anything. 

After surviving chemo and looking back on that experience, I now have a greater appreciation for the sacrifice Beth made to visit me during that first day of chemo.  Now, every time I walk into a cancer center, I get a sick feeling inside, reminding me of chemo and how anxious we were about each treatment.  I remember how crummy I felt each time as I left.  In cancer centers, I also feel bad for all of the people there, knowing how scared they are, and how much anxiety they are feeling.  I know that Beth had to feel that same sickness as she arrived to celebrate my first dose of chemo, bringing fun and making me feel loved.  She set her own feelings and emotions aside to help me feel loved and supported. 

For my birthday, almost a year later, Beth baked and delivered the most amazing cake I’ve ever eaten, beautifully presented on a yellow glass cake stand, which was part of the gift.  The cake was made with lime curd filling and coconut.  It had luscious layers.  I felt so loved.  This cake was also baked and prepared during Beth’s 2^nd round of cancer.  She had to be low on energy, and couldn’t eat any of the cake because she was eating a very strict clean and healthy diet. 

Years later, the Mowrey’s started posting on their blog again to keep everyone informed.  It was so helpful.  Reading their posts strengthened my faith and helped me know of specific things I could pray for.  It was so nice getting daily updates, without having to intrude on their precious family time as Beth’s health declined.  Though the blog informed us that her time was short, the news of her passing still hit very hard.  Life isn’t fair.  She prepared me to fight my own battle.  We had battled together, at the same time for a year.  She never received news that she was cancer free.  She was younger and had younger kids.  Sadly, her battle started years before and went on a lot longer, with a lot more bumps in the road.  For eight years she courageously dealt with constant pain and physical frustrations.  She rarely talked about her pain.  She kept herself busy ministering to others. 

Through her entire journey, she and Alan kept a positive and thankful attitude, using humor and love to make it through.  The Mowreys have touched so many lives and taught us all so much about finding joy in the journey and trusting in God and His eternal plan.  

I was not able to fly to Cleveland for her funeral, but thankfully friends made it possible for others to be a part of her celebration through the internet.  I am so thankful that my life has been blessed by #theBethEffect.  As the song, “For Good,” from Wicked says, “Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.”

Celebrating 3 years & a clear mammogram!

Today I’m celebrating 3 years since my final cancer treatment.  I’m also celebrating that last week's check up and mammogram showed that all is still clear! 

Huntsman Cancer Center

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View from inside.

We moved to Utah just before Thanksgiving.  Scott started a new job in Salt Lake City (which he LOVES!).  I was anxious about finding a new doctor to watch over my cancer follow-ups.  A good friend from our Denver days now lives here and has been through the same journey.  She recommended Dr. Saundra Buys at the Huntsman Cancer Center.  She was amazing!  I learned things from her that I had not known three years and nine months ago when I was diagnosed.  The Huntsman Cancer Center was gorgeous, and all of the workers were so kind and caring.  In the past for me, I had to travel to 3 different locations for my 3 different doctors, and travel to other spots for mammograms and blood work.  Here, I saw a fellow (working under my doctor), then the doctor, and then she called over and schedule an immediate mammogram.  I walked across the hall, waited maybe 5 minutes, had the mammogram, and was given the results as soon as I was dressed.  Then I was taken across the hall to the lab, where there was no wait.  The Huntsman Cancer Center also provides free valet parking, with a no tipping allowed—what a kind gift for those going through treatments that cause fatigue.  I self-parked in the garage, but was so thankful for those that need the valet.

I did not realize that this visit would be so emotional.  Walking into a cancer center brings back the anxiety and worry that is present with every new experience of the journey.  I was teary eyed with both concern and with gratitude for coming through it all so well. Two women that I know of, who were going through breast cancer at the same time, didn't have the same outcome and have passed on. It is sobering to be reminded of how fragile life can be.  I hope to never need to go through cancer treatments again, but if I ever do, I am so thankful to have a caring team of professionals at an amazing cancer center.  I feel thankful to have moved back to a state that has such a great facility.  It gives some added peace of mind.

Looking back at the last 3 years and 9 months, it has been life-changing, and most of that has been great.  It feels like it has taken almost 3 years for my energy to return.  That delay may be due to the last 6 months recovering from my fractured pelvis (in June, see my previous post).  I can now run again, only having to stop because I’m out of shape (or still adjusting to the Utah altitudes), and not because my body aches has no energy.  Due to my fracture, I am WAY more careful about everything I do—knowing that my bones may still be weak from the chemo and the hormone blockers.

Over the past 3 years, I’ve also had the opportunity to help several women going through similar adventures.  Recording major happenings in this blog has also been helpful to friends of friends going through cancer.  It has also helped me look back and remember details that I’ve forgotten. 

View from our apartment.

So, life is fabulous and full of new adventures.  We are enjoying downtown apartment life.  Like the title of this blog, I have truly been given lots of mountains, beautiful snow covered mountains all around us.  It was really hard leaving Indy, a daughter and son-in-law, and all of the local friends that helped our family through this cancer adventure.  It has been a treat meeting up with friends in Utah, both transplants from Indy and friends from when we lived here before.  It is also great that Heath & Courtney are only 4 hours away.  They are coming to visit this weekend.  I’m rooting for Peyton & the Broncos!

I am full of gratitude to my Heavenly Father and my Savior for opportunities to grow and learn, and the peace they give me along the way.  I thank them for blessing me with a wonderful husband by my side as we climb these mountains together.  I’m also thankful for my children, their spouses, our extended family, and friends—from all over the country.  I am so blessed.